The mundane becomes pleasurable

Of all the things warped in life ...since i got started on my business venture ..
the worst or the best seems to be simple pleasures in mundane tasks ..
a week has gone by fixing the most non value adding things around ...
chairs,broadband , new office essentials and the only thing that has got me past such boredom ..
its probably the rest and relaxation it provided my brain ...
as i wasted more time on the mundane ..i realized there were others lazily getting through life with no purpose...a day lost in oblivion would make no difference to their lives ...
then came the choice of living with no ambition ....how wud that feel ?
must try it some day ...
as i waited an hour waiting for my bsnl line application to move from one desk to another ...the dead pace of others got to me ...all i needed after that was more dead pace ....as addictive as it was ...it was strangely pleasurable ..
the yawning while waiting
the dreaming while staring at space
the lusting while hoping the broadband connection goes live ..
that lone lunch ,,where i wondered if such stolen moments are the only solace for an individual's spirit ..
and the wake up call ...when i got an sob code to move my file from one department to another ...only to realize the file still takes a day to get to the next building ...

The Uninitiated

This week has already been too introspective for my taste .
however its always good to evolve theories no one subscribes to ever ...
hence my theory of the initiated and the uninitiated ..

purely in terms of conquering life and its fears ...
i have a long way to go ....and now i m busy figuring out the fastest way to get over it ..

why the fastest ? ....we'll once u ve tasted fearlessness...there's no need to hold on to it any longer .

reasons maybe few ,,,but i like the dose of good luck and energy that comes my way everyday , even more so than last year
yes it did take me a while to clear the baggage but now that its gone ...i d really like this new found freedom in the way i think ..

all through my life , i did question a lot more than today ..u'd think introspection makes me question it more ...not true ..life's set in some effortless pattern of thinking ...pure instinct u can say ...i have less n less time to ponder and "less is more " when it comes to acting on anything ...

i never knew i could learn a lot from others ...be it your parents , siblings , mentors , friends , acquaintances and special someone's ....but its more so than ever , that i rely on experience to teach and initiate the wild ..

i read a beautiful book once and i have read it again n again ...its ideally meant for women " women who run with the wolves"...and i thought abt this book this morning ...

As most boundaries seem non-existent , paths can be carved even if its impossible as long as you believe , try and move forward with a fresh change ..

but the success will depend on just one thing ...are you fully initiated ?

and to be .....you may need someone who is

As i look for others who are on the same path , i have been fortunate to already meet a few who are at different stages and its an unbelievable spark that like mindedness can create ...

to coast together in a different land only cos you view it differently yet live among others ,and be happy with others will be an unreal experience ...spread across geographies and your neighborhoods there will always be others " Like you "...all of us are somewhere close to wanting the "initiation" ( honestly it cud be anything ) ....want it badly it always finds you and sets your free ...there is wisdom in a moment , that years cannot teach and that is always in an initiated moment ..

i do plan to spend most of my days searching for those moments ...

Find your's today ..

NEW POST

Every time i struggle with the title of the post ,purely cos i write with no agenda..but today i found the perfect title ..yay!

like i said, no agenda ...interrupted by chat too , so even worse ..i have no clue what i started out with

anyway after 3 nights of going out , socializing ,meeting old and new friends ...i m enjoying my sunday at home- homefood,wi-fi , south indian filter coffee ,more thoughts of the eraser of my past .

time flies , this weekend has been a rude awakening to sales numbers , customer feedback , distractions ,limitations , health of my car , mobile , bank accounts .....and now the next 3 months i aim to fix each of these ..

just to add a note on my ever new vulnerable state ...why i thought i could live alone ...sometimes ?...but seems difficult ...people old and new add sooo much to my life now , i can no longer ignore it ....the way i see it , this recognition has come to me sooo late probably cos i was pre occupied with the basics ...anyway now that its here ...its even bigger of a task to handle it ...

what if i need something , i can't have ? thats not possible cos there are many ways to have something.
what if i need something , i don't want to act on ? hmmm....
what if i need something , that needs me more ? thats also possible :-)
what if i fall in love with it ? ...hmmm...

the truth is the less you know , the more you feel ...
that's the real culprit though ...the more u find out ...u always want more ..
for now all i can say is ...it is new to me .

i can hear my mom talk to her brother on the phone just now , she always says she's closer to him than both me and my dad ..reason being they discuss trivial stuff ...like from cats in the house , they paws , the servants , rose gardens everything me and my dad have no time for ...

in our busy lives , we dun have time for trivial stuff ..no point discussing it unless u ve smoked some ...
but guess its relevant ...why shudn't i know everything abt him or her ...they are my close frens ...i care to know ..only cos i wanna know them better ...

the ecosystem is more relevant to me now than ever ..i ve had friends, acquaintances talking soo much abt their lives ..i wonder what makes them think i m interested in their shit ....but everytime i ve been interested ...i have been a patient listener and whenever i spoke i revealed all ...just didn't realize it ..

as borders weaken , barriers are broken , you meet people yesterday and they are closer to you than many others ..
you meet new people feeling you ve known them forever , or will know them better one day
life and phases in life play dirty tricks to push you to discover what you never have ..

the spirt of change !
the only consistent source of happiness .

The beauty of the "new"

As the New year begins , and we all have wishes and hopes for 2012 ,
ringing in the new has a whole new meaning for me .

I carry little of the past year or the rest of the years
no particular reason , just that i feel the years ahead will be drastically different , will have different demands from me.

Last year , making space for the new was a challenge
till i came face to face with the desire to make it ...something had to usher in the new and its only purpose was to make me realize that the past was no longer necessary , was probably waaaaay boring , was no longer needed or wanted.

I was fine without it , infact happier once i realized it would no longer do me any good .

They say the grass is greener on the other side , if it wasn't we would never jump over the fence .
I am not saying everyone's smart ;-) but i sure am !

Been a while

Can't explain it, but writing is healing
In times of letting go , times of holding on , on days of nothingness
the meaning finds itself in words typed randomly
just as i can't explain why i write ,there's no reason why i write what i write
i hope they make some sense to its readers ...for me it just matters

some of my blogposts were written for a reason
but this one's a special one ...it has nothing to convey

10 mins of escape - copy of light (rough cut)

All the concerns me is , i need to write more , which means work and i need to write to match the brief which is more work ....
but nevertheless i 'm quite happy with this for 10 mins of escape ...

After sorrow comes happiness
After darkness comes light, or
Does light exist in darkness?

Everything we see has light on it
We not only see light
We touch, feel, sense and fear light

Stepping out into the sunlight on a cold wintery day
Imagining light at the end of a tunnel
Rushing from end to end in search of that illusive rainbow.
The wonder of a primary school kid, during a prism experiment.
Light signifies and brings emotions beyond our control

Imagine waking up in the morning to darkness.

Every vision is interplay of light and objects
From the sand dunes in the deserts
To the leafy greens in the rainforests
To the blue of the sea
To people of all races and color
Light is formless and livens all objects in various hues

My life w/o light would be blind
My life w/o my eyes would have no light

Light is life
Light is vision, confidence, warmth
Light makes us feel safe , comfortable

Us , the existence : born this way
Made of light and the elements
I wouldn’t exist w/o thee .

Light exists
Light plays
Light creates
Light forms = life forms

winds of change

i never thought
i never will
i never could

but you made me

sail with the tides
fly with the winds

and go away .